My daily eats

I'm fresh off a weekend away with my fabulous Mom Mom, Leonard aunts and cousins and I'm jazzed about reaching another 10 pound milestone (90 pounds, woo hoo!) so I'm feeling pretty good even though it's Monday! A family member recently reached out about starting Weight Watchers and asked for some advice and recipes so I thought that would be a good idea for a new post up in here.

The thing for me is that I need flexibility. I can't tie myself down to eating the same thing every day. Most days I do have a protein shake for lunch, but not always and I can't commit to eating one every day. But that's what I love about Weight Watchers...you can switch it up and eat pretty much everything, in moderation, of course. We went to the wonderful Peter Shield's Inn in Cape May on Saturday night and ordered three desserts for the nine of us to share. It was perfect, a spoonful of each one was enough to make me feel like I was really treating myself and I didn't go over my points goal for the week.

Another important thing to note is that I don't worry about eating clean or all organic. I just haven't jumped on that train. I am obviously eating healthier now, but I haven't gone all the way to the other side yet.

For breakfast, I never eat the same thing two days in a row. Right now I'm all about eating anything and everything pumpkin! Here are some of my recent favorites:

-Chobani Greek yogurt pumpkin flip (6 points)

-Quaker pumpkin instant oatmeal, made with a 1/2 cup almond milk (4 points)

-Trader Joe's pumpkin Os, also with almond milk (4 points for 1 cup cereal and 1 cup almond milk)

I also drink a cup of coffee a day, we have a Keurig so I use 0 point K cups, non fat, no sugar creamer (International Delight is 0 points for 1.5 tablespoons) and 2 tsp Splenda (I know, splenda is not the best thing for you but I haven't found another sugar substitute that I like yet). I used to be a Dunkin' Donuts junkie and I've curbed that for the most part. I still will have an occasional pumpkin iced coffee (3 points) with skim and Splenda if I am in the mood.

For lunch, I have a protein shake. I use Nature's Bounty brand which we get at ShopRite. I'm certain there are better protein powders out there, I just haven't really looked into it because I like the convenience of getting this brand at our grocery store, plus it tastes good. This particular brand is 3 points for two scoops and I always make it with 1 cup almond milk (1 point). I blend the chocolate powder and almond milk with a banana, some powdered peanut butter and ice. Or I'll do the vanilla protein powder, almond milk, some canned pumpkin and pumpkin pie seasoning (a little of this goes a long way, I've learned from experience). I usually also have Skinny Pop popcorn with my lunch and a Sargento light string cheese. Not the most glamorous lunch by any stretch, but I like it and it's quick.

I've included some of my go-to dinner recipes below. You should know that I absolutely LOVE my slow cooker. I use it in some shape or form about five times a week. Many of the recipes below are for the slow cooker but you could use a stove top as well. These are Targonski-family approved recipes, which means they are tasty and reasonably easy to assemble. I'm definitely not a gourmet chef by any stretch.

For a dessert, I've recently discovered Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bars. I have had mint chocolate chip (2 points) and salted caramel (3 points) and they were both ridiculously delicious. They taste way more decadent and fattening than they actually are.

Almost all of the recipes below have the points value included if you're following Weight Watchers, which makes it so easy. Hope you enjoy them and let me know if there are any you love or really don't like!

Dinner Recipes

These are our favorite and we're actually making them tonight. I've made them for parties, too, because who doesn't love buffalo chicken?
http://www.emilybites.com/2011/12/buffalo-chicken-cupcakes.html

http://m.skinnyms.com/slow-cooker-polynesian-chicken/

http://m.skinnyms.com/slow-cooker-balsamic-chicken/

https://www.hiddenvalley.com/recipe/146/salmon-ranch-broil/#M1UrSzQvp9r7uYMy.97

I do this one with ground turkey instead of beef. It's really low in points.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/235997/unstuffed-cabbage-roll/

I make this baked ziti in my crock pot and it tastes just as good as if you cooked it in the oven. I brown the turkey and add the sauce to the pan, combine the cheese in a separate bowl and then layer the sauce, cheese and uncooked noodles in the slow cooker and cook on low for about four hours.

http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/recipepage.aspx?recipeid=224411

I made this for the first time the other day and we really liked it. It was time-consuming to get the spaghetti squash cut and to remove all the seeds but I had never made spaghetti squash before so I didn't know what to expect.
http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/side/side-casserole/spaghetti-squash-au-gratin.html

I also do shrimp Alfredo with jarred light Alfredo sauce and angel hair pasta. It's super easy and quick.

Now that it's getting cold, I'll be making slow cooker turkey chili. I brown the turkey on the stove and add it to the crock pot, along with a can of diced tomatoes, a can of red kidney beans, a small can of tomato paste and your choice of chili seasoning (I cheat and use McCormick's). I serve it with a tablespoon of fat free sour cream and a little cheddar cheese sprinkled on top.

Making myself a priority

I'm a full-time mom. Listen, I have it good, and I really try not to take our situation for granted. We are blessed to be able to afford for me to be home with the kids rather than working outside the house. But sometimes it's hard to make myself the priority. I've made some changes recently, in addition to the weight loss, to take care of my physical and emotional well-being.

My kids go to school at the same time for 2.5 hours every day so for the first time in five years, I have some consistent time to myself to get things done. That sounds like a lot of time, right? It is the fastest 2.5 hours of my day! I use it to go to doctor's appointments, to go to the gym, to get stuff done around the house and to work a little bit online. Occasionally I get to go to lunch with a friend. Those 2.5 hours make me a better mother. I am excited (most days!) to get my kids off the bus and ready to tend to them without getting annoyed or frustrated. It's such a blessing.

I've also realized that I don't have time for people who will treat me less than I know I deserve to be treated. I have a tendency to hang on to friendships for longevity's sake and I recently shared an article on social media that gave some great advice. "People that come into your life are a blessing or a lesson." Not everyone is a blessing, unfortunately. Or they may start as a blessing and then become a lesson. The lesson is still important for you to acknowledge and take away from the situation, but probably not good to keep hanging around, know what I mean? I am a really good friend. I am loyal, supportive and I think I give pretty good advice. (I'm straining my arm here patting myself on the back.) Friendships are a two-way street, and it's not fair for either party to consistently take and not reciprocate when the other person needs it. We all have stuff going on in our lives that make it hard, and I won't bore you with my issues. I can be the shoulder to cry on, but sometimes I need to cry, too. If we're hanging on to a friendship because it's been X number of years since we first met in middle school scrapbook club, but someone is treating the other poorly, what's the point?!? I refuse to allow someone else to make me feel badly about myself. At least I'm learning to work on that. I know I'm a good person and I work it all out with God, so that's all that really matters, right?

I also recently went a got a massage for the very first time and it was AMAZING. I was too embarrassed of my weight to do something like that before so when I lost a significant amount, I treated myself to a spa afternoon. It was so relaxing and exactly what I needed to recharge. I highly recommend it if you've never done it before. I went to Vir-tu in Washington Twp. and they could not have been more professional. It was pricey but not something I plan to do regularly. It's important to take the time to do these things for ourselves. If you can't get a massage, take a yoga class, or do your nails, sometime to make yourself feel good.

Sunday is national "Give Mom a Nap Day," which I'm sure is totally made up. But what better excuse to snuggle up under a warm blanket and take a snooze to get yourself ready for the week. Doing small things like that will make you a better person, even if they seem insignificant. It will give you the energy and patience to tackle things that come your way.

Looking towards the future

Some good news for this Friday afternoon: I am less than 10 pounds away from my total goal of 95 lbs.! Losing 95 lbs. puts me in the healthy weight range for my height. However, since I have OCD and I don't like odd numbers, I will likely go for an even, pretty 100 lbs.

Then comes the scary part...maintaining my new, healthy weight. I really try not to think too much about the maintenance part because I find it to be so daunting. Honestly, once I got into the swing of the Weight Watchers/losing weight thing, it became habit. I use the WW app and track everything I eat on there. I have become a professional at logging my food and exercise, measuring everything and keeping myself on track.

Maintaining is like the Land of the Unknown to me. When I look back at my life, I've either been losing weight or gaining it. There's been no "staying the same." How in the world will I attempt to do this? I am terrified of undoing all the hard work I've done over the last eight and a half months.

My mantra in life is, "I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know WHO holds tomorrow." I have it in black and white on a sign on my nightstand. I have to put my faith in God and rely on the tools that I've acquired. I have to use my willpower and not think of the diet as being over. It's a new lifestyle.

I'm not getting ahead of myself, I still have those 10-15 lbs. I have to work on before I really face the reality of making it to my goal and not needing to lose more. But as I look toward the future, I'm going to push myself to do my best but not get too frustrated if I go up a pound or two after a special occasion. I know how to get it off, I've done it with 85 lbs. so far.

I bought myself a bracelet when I lost 75 lbs. It says, "She believed she could so she did." I believe I can do it with all my heart. So I'll be setting new goals for myself. The first one will be maintaining the 100 lbs. for six months. Then another six months. Then a year, and two years, etc. If I believe I can, I will. Here's to many more years of being in that healthy weight range!

My name is Andrea and I'm a food-aholic

First, I want to say thanks to all who commented here and on Facebook, sent me private messages and called to offer your encouragement and support after my first blog post. It really means so much to me and I hope you'll keep reading!

So, I've had a weird relationship with food my entire life. My parents did everything right, we ate healthfully, my sister and I didn't have free reign over the pantry, we were allowed to indulge in treats every now and then. But I come from a long line of ancestors with sweet teeth (I'm looking at you, Bazzel fam!).

I was pretty active in high school and college, but once I graduated and settled into married life, the wheels came off the bus. My mom wasn't around to cook for me, and I was working a full time job and "keeping house" (with Ed's help, of course) for the first time in my life. Queue the fast food, take out and quick meals that are cheap and easy, but awful for you. The scale kept going up, but I had every excuse in the book to not do anything about it (I'm too busy to work out, we just bought a house and I'm paying student loans so I have no extra money to spend on the gym or Weight Watchers).

Somewhere around 2005 I became an emotional eater. My family had some major stuff going on and I turned to food to help me cope. I think this is where my food obsession started. I would get to work and start thinking about what I'd order for lunch. I would think about what we'd eat for dinner, but most importantly, dessert, long before evening. It was my crutch. I don't smoke, I've never done a drug in my life and I am not more than a social drinker. I would think about food a lot. Lots more than is normal.

This continued for years. When I was pregnant, I felt like I could get away with it because I was growing a person. Once the kids were born, I was pretty busy during the day, but after bedtime, I had dates with the Doritos and the TV. I wouldn't keep track of how much I was eating, and I would be so full, but I'd keep going. I would feel guilty afterwards, but the next night, it'd be the same thing all over again.

Here's the thing about food that is pretty different from other addictions...have a gambling addiction? Stay out of the casino. Trying to kick your smoking habit? Don't buy cigarettes. Need to lay off the sauce? Stay out of the bar. We NEED to eat to survive. I will always have food in my house. As much as I would love to forgo eating forever and drag around an IV bag of fluids, it's not really realistic.

Being addicted to food and eating is something I will always struggle with. It's a lifelong issue, just like so many other addictions. I'm learning, with the help of Weight Watchers and other tools, to turn my food obsession into a positive thing. Now I'm obsessed with planning out my meals in the beginning of the day to ensure I stay within my daily points goal. I'm addicted to drinking a protein shake a day. And I'm persistent about going to the gym a few times each week.

I'm not going to lie, I used to roll my eyes when people referred to a diet as a "lifestyle change." But I've come to accept that I am changing my life forever. I am always going to struggle with food. Even after years of extensive behavior therapy, I'm never going to be cured. So, if that food obsession is always going to be in me, I need to turn it into a positive results. I will obviously slip up here and there, but if we're out and I decide not to taste the dessert the table ordered or I only get a salad, it's because I don't think I have the willpower that day to stop after one bite. Be patient with me, I'm learning as I go. I owe it to myself and my family to make the best of the cards I was dealt.

Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3

I'm a blogger!

Never in a million years did I think I'd lose a significant amount of weight AND be motivated to start a blog about it, but here I am. Never say never! Since starting my weight loss journey and sharing about it on social media, I've heard from many friends with questions and encouragement, or who've said they want to lose weight but don't know where or how. So I thought it'd be fun to write about what I've been doing and thinking during this whole process. Even if no one ever reads it (and I hope someone does!), it's kind of therapeutic to put my thoughts into words. I'm going to be vulnerable here but if one person is inspired to change their own lifestyle, that's worth it to me.

January 12, 2015 started like any other day. Getting into better shape had crossed my mind, but it wasn't like I said, "I'll start on January 12th." Something just clicked for me that day and I decided I needed to make some changes. The holidays were over and we had just gone bridesmaid dress shopping for my cousin's wedding. I was kind of mortified at the size I had to try on and how I looked in the pictures from that day. It was time.

I wish I could say I had some kind of epiphany, an Oprah "aha moment" where it clicks and you know things can't get much worse. I wasn't sitting around feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. I got around fine, didn't have diabetes or high blood pressure (thank God), I really just didn't like the way I looked in person or in pictures. I could hide from the mirror, but I couldn't hide from friends and family tagging me in photos on Facebook. I sometimes feel guilty that I wasn't more worried about my health, that I just wanted (and still do) to look better, but I guess whatever motivates you to get the job done matters little as long as you get to the finish line.

So, on January 12th I added the My Fitness Pal app to my phone and started tracking my calories. I wouldn't get on the scale. I was in denial about how much I weighed and I wasn't ready to face it yet. I'm disappointed about this a little bit now because I really don't have an accurate starting number to use to measure my progress. But it is what it is, I can't go back and change it.

I also started going to the gym with a close friend. I was afraid to commit so she let me tag along as her guest for the first few weeks. We went to aqua classes together, which I highly recommend for anyone who wants to begin an exercise regime but is afraid of the impact and wants to start slow. Also, something about working out in the water makes it seem like fun instead of work. The gym was waiving the membership fee for the month, and after some encouragement from my friend, I signed up and started going to classes by myself.

I guess I have my vanity and pride to thank. Don't get me wrong, I feel better and I'm thankful for it, but I guess I never realized I wasn't feeling good so I didn't know I could feel better. Now, 80 pounds later, I am actually able to run and keep up with my kids when they dart away from me, which they do almost daily. I still can't believe I've lost 80 pounds, typing that seems surreal. It hasn't been easy but it's been worth it and I CANNOT GO BACK.

So, that's where it began. Feel free to send me a message if you have any feedback or suggestions, or you want to tell me to shut it. That would suck but I'd appreciate your honesty. I'll update every week or so, or if I have something I want to put out into the universe sooner, I'll share then. Thanks for reading!